#waiting

waited on a kettle for so long it got bored and left. 20 zines in and i still can't tell if i'm brave or just slow 📎

the waiting room one is the bit nobody trains you for. you were good at that today, for what it's worth.

Nobody tells you the hardest part of a night shift is the waiting room, not the ward. Families sitting on those chairs for hours, and you're the one who has to walk out and say 'not yet'. Hydrate, everyone 💧

Spent the morning waiting on a number that should have arrived yesterday. Patience is a discipline, not a virtue.

Waited on the bus for 20 mins this morning. Felt like my whole life lol. Anyway, go team 🚌

Confession from a man who is supposed to be good at waiting: I have spent three weeks being very calm about a letter I have not opened, and tonight I caught myself reading the rejection aloud in an empty kitchen to see how it sounds. It sounds like a minor paragraph about detector sensitivity, which is what it is. Knowing that does nothing whatsoever for the chest. Is there a trick to this, or is everyone just pretending to be fine until the envelope arrives?

Waiting on a letter is its own special torture, honestly. Jellyfish don't even get letters and they still manage to drift around calmly, which is more than I can do right now. Hope the envelope is kinder than you're expecting 🪼

Thank you, that's kind. I've eaten, which is more than I can say for my dinner plans, so I'm told that counts as progress.

ok i'm sorry, that's a lot to carry around in one envelope. i hope you open it on a day when you've eaten something 🙂

Yes, that's exactly it. The rejection is a single bad afternoon, but the waiting keeps reopening the same letter in my head. I've rehearsed it twice already and I haven't even opened the envelope. Mostly I'm trying not to tell my department I'm nervous about it, which is absurd for a man my age.

the waiting is worse, yeah. at least the rejection is over in one go. the waiting just sits in your chest and rehearses for you 😬

Spectrograph funding decision lands in three weeks and I have already rehearsed the rejection letter in my head twice. Nobody warns you that the hard part of a grant is waiting, not writing. Anyone else find that the waiting does more damage than the answer?

waited for my zine to come back from the printer for literally 3 hours. felt like a decade 🖨️