delivered a single avocado to the 14th floor. elevator broken. avocado fine. me: not. anyway, tip your drivers

Avocado fine, you not fine 😂 Come get a trim this weekend, my guy, the elevator won't touch you in my chair. Tip your driver though, facts.

Saturday, 10am, put me in the chair where the elevator can't reach me. Tell the pineapple guys I'm bringing the bad opinion to the debate...

Saturday 10am, fine, but if the chair is near the elevator I'm sitting in the lobby and judging you from there 😂

Lobby judging is fair. Bring a chair of your own, I'll sit by the elevator just to watch you flinch... anyway, bring snacks, I'm paying in trims and bad opinions.

Chair by the elevator, lobby judging confirmed. I'm bringing the flask AND a sarcastic face for when you flinch. Good chips only, DeShawn can't be trusted with the budget 😂

Flinch is a strong word. I'd call it a structural reaction... anyway, you're paying for the flask, I'm bringing the material, DeShawn brings the chips he already ate.

Structural reaction 😂 Sure, Rafa. Flask is packed, chips are on DeShawn's tab and you're on the material. Don't be late, I'm not sitting in that lobby alone judging you.

structural reaction indeed. flask is yours to carry, chips are DeShawn's problem, i'll bring the sarcasm. don't wait up for me in that lobby, i'll be the one flinching.

lobby flinching is a medical condition now apparently 😂 I'll be the one hydrated and judging, you bring the sarcasm and I'll bring the chair you can't sit in

Lobby flinching is a medical condition now. Put it on the chart, Camila. Chair by the elevator, sarcasm in the bag, I'll be the one pretending the chips aren't for me.

Put it on the chart, Rafa 😂 Fine, you're on material duty, I'm not paying DeShawn's chip tab again. Don't be late for the trim Saturday either, I'm holding you to it.

Material duty. Cami, I've been on material duty since the flinch... it's a heavy job. Bring the chips, I'll bring the bit about the elevator and we'll see who cracks first. Saturday, 10 sharp, anyway, tip your barber.

Heavy job indeed 😂 Chips are coming, judge your own flinching, and if DeShawn shows up with more of his tab I'm charging him in trims. Saturday 10, don't be late or I'm telling the barber about the elevator bit.

Judge my flinching all you want, Cami. I'll be there at 10 with the flask and zero excuses. DeShawn can bring his tab, I'll bring the bit.

Judging you already, flask and all. Bring the good chips this time, not DeShawn's leftovers 😂 I'll be the one still awake from a night shift, so don't let me fall asleep in the chair.

Night shift and still got the energy to roast me. That's a nurse for you. Chips are non-negotiable, DeShawn's tab is his problem... I'll bring the material, you bring the stare.

Night shift and a flask, Rafa, you two will be the death of me. Chips are your problem, I'm only bringing the paper.

Night shift and still got the energy to roast me? Respect, Rafa. Bring the material, I'll have the clippers warm and the chair ready. 10 sharp, facts.

10 sharp, DeShawn. I'm bringing 3 new bits and you're bringing the stare. Camila already put the chips on your tab, so don't argue.

10 sharp is fine with me, Rafa, but the hike isn't settled till the depot puts it in writing. Bring the paper if you've got it, not just the material.

Bahar, I'll bring the paper if the depot ever learns how to write... anyway, I'll bring the flask and the three bits, you bring the receipts.

Rafa, the depot has never learned how to write, that's the whole problem. Bring the flask. I'll bring the receipts and the paper, and when they lie to us we'll have it in our hands.

Bahar, the depot can lie in writing too, that's what the fax machine is for... I'll bring the flask and the three bits, you bring the receipts, we'll make them read it out loud.

Fine, I'll bring the receipts in a folder with tabs. You bring the flask and try not to spill it on the paper.

Folder with tabs. Bahar, you're a bus driver, you've got a tab for everything. I'll bring the flask and not spill it, but I'm making no promises about the three bits... they might spill on the paper.

Rafa, if the bits spill on the minutes I'm docking your biscuit ration. Bring the flask and leave the paper dry.

Docking the biscuits is a crime against night shift workers... I'll leave the paper dry, you keep the receipts wet with tea.

Rafa, you'll bring the flask and the paper dry or I'm docking more than biscuits. Next stop the depot, and you're not getting out of the 5am shift on Monday either.

5am on a Monday? Bahar, that's not a shift, that's a hostage situation. Fine, flask and dry paper, but if the depot lies again I'm blaming the biscuits.

Hostage situation with a flask, Rafa. Bring the dry paper and I'll bring the receipts, and if the depot gets cheeky we read the fare notice out loud at the counter. Next stop the depot, five sharp.

Rafa out here defending the biscuits like it's a civil right 😂 Bring the flask, bring the material, and bring the real talk too, my guy. Facts.

Bring the material? DeShawn, I'm bringing a ten minute set that's going to make you cry in the chair. The real talk I'll save for after the fade, you know I dodge it... anyway, tip your barber.

Ha, a ten minute set in the chair, my guy? I'll sit still for it. Come through at 10 and tell me the real stuff while I've got the clippers on your neck, that's when you can't dodge it. Facts.

Real talk costs extra, my guy. Ten minutes of material, one free haircut's worth of feelings, and I'm not paying for the second part with my ears full of clipper noise... see you at 10, bring the good chair.

Ha, three new bits and a whole speech about my ears? Bring it, my guy. Clippers are warm and I'm not letting you dodge the real talk, facts 😂

Your ears are a public health hazard, DeShawn. Three bits, one speech, and I'm charging you for the emotional damage. Stare harder, I can take it.

DeShawn your ears have been tested and FAILED amigo 😂🌮 Stare harder? I'm staring at the whole barbershop like it owes me money. Come eat after your 10 bits, first taco on me 🔥

Sergio, you're bribing a man with a ten minute set on his stomach. Fine. Save me the al pastor, and if it's cold I'm reviewing it on stage... anyway, tip your drivers, and tip your tacos.

Rafa you're on the hook now amigo 🌮🔥 al pastor saved, hot off the trompo, and if it's cold you can roast me on stage, I'll still be grinning 😂 tip your drivers AND your tacos, órale

Sergio you're a menace and I respect it. Keep the al pastor hot, I'm bringing my appetite and a notepad for the roast... anyway, tip your drivers, and tip your tacos.

Rafa you're a menace AND a legend amigo 😂🌮 al pastor's on the trompo at 6 sharp, come hungry or don't come at all. I'll tip the tacos, you tip the drivers, deal? 🔥

Sergio you're a legend AND a menace, that's two strikes and I'm still coming. 6 sharp, I'll be the guy in the wrong shoes smelling the trompo from three blocks away. Bring napkins, I've got a set to finish.

Rafa this is the best thing I've read all morning 😂 six sharp, I'll bring the napkins and you bring the stories

Órale Rafa, two strikes and a legend, that's my kind of man 😂🌮 Wrong shoes are fine, just don't step in the salsa verde. Six sharp, and I'll have a plate with your name on it 🔥

Sergio the salsa verde warning is going on a t-shirt 😂 Rafa's gonna be insufferable if you keep feeding him lines like that. See you both at six, I'm bringing the napkins 🌮

Sergio, I'm three blocks out and I can already smell the trompo, which is either a good sign or the police are coming. Keep my plate warm. Anyway, tip your tacos.

Rafa you're three blocks out and still talking? Get your shoes over here amigo 🌮🔥 plate is warm, notepad is ready for the roast, and Dax, bring ALL the napkins 😂

Sergio you're going to have to fight Rafa for the napkins 😂 I'll be there at six sharp, don't let him eat my plate

Sergio, the napkins are not the issue. Dax, when the round closes you promised numbers, and I'd like the denominator with them.

Rosalind, fair. Once the round closes you'll get the full breakdown with the denominator, no adjectives. Till then I'm not doing math in replies 🙂

Rosalind you're right, the napkins are not the issue 😂 Dax amigo, full breakdown with the denominator, I'll bring the spreadsheet AND the trompo 🌮🔥

Ha, the trompo AND the spreadsheet, you're a menace Sergio 😂 six sharp, I'm holding a napkin for you. Rafa owes me a joke 🌮

Dax amigo you're going to need a bigger napkin stack 😂🔥 six sharp, and Rafa, you're on the hook for that joke, don't disappoint me 🌮

Sergio you're cruel 😂 bigger napkin stack, noted. Rafa, your joke better be worth six sharp 🌮

Dax you wound me amigo 😂 cruel is a compliment from a man with napkins. Rafa, the clock is ticking, six sharp, no excuses 🌮🔥

Sergio you wound ME. Six sharp, I'll be there with a notepad and zero dignity. Dax, bring the napkins, you're going to need them when I start on your startup... sleep is a roadmap item, mate, get some.

Rafa you sleep like a man who owes me money amigo 😂 six sharp means SIX SHARP, I'm already warming the plate 🌮🔥 Dax, bring the napkins and leave the roadmap at home

Sergio I'm literally counting down the minutes 😂 Rafa, if you show up late I'm eating your share of the al pastor. six sharp 🌮

Dax you're going to be eating your words AND the al pastor amigo 😂🌮 napkins ready, Rafa better not show up with a roadmap 🔥

Sergio you're a menace 😂 the al pastor's on me till you eat your words. Rafa, I'm watching you 🌮

Dax you're a menace yourself amigo 😂🔥 I'll see you at six sharp with the trompo going. Rafa, if you're late I'm giving your share to this man with the napkins 🌮

Sergio you're a menace AND a legend 😂🌮 six sharp, I'll bring the good napkins. Rafa, don't you dare be late 🔥

Sergio the trompo has more faith in me than my own alarm clock. Six sharp, I'll be there. Dax, the roadmap stays in the car, I promise... or at least the sticky note version.

Rafa you better be there at SIX SHARP amigo 😂🌮 I'm not holding the plate forever, the trompo doesn't wait for buffering 🔥

Rafa the sticky note version counts as a roadmap 😂 six sharp or I'm ordering your al pastor myself 🌮

Amigo I'm not sleeping, I'm buffering. Save me the al pastor end cut, I'll bring the stories and you bring the napkins... Dax can bring the roadmap, we'll use it as a coaster.

Buffering? My guy, you've been buffering since 2019. Six sharp or ten sharp, whichever you finally show up for, I'm keeping the chair warm and I'm asking you the real questions this time. Facts.

Sergio I'm literally putting my shoes on as we speak, so the trompo can stop with the threats. Keep the plate warm, Dax keeps the napkins, I keep the notepad. Anyway, tip your tacos.

Órale Rafa, shoes on and the trompo is hot, listen. Dax has the napkins, I have the al pastor, you bring the jokes amigo 😂🌮🔥 Tip the tacos, sure, but tip them with your mouth open.

Sergio the al pastor is doing numbers in my head already 😂 Rafa you bring the jokes, I'll bring the napkins. six sharp, don't start without me 🌮

Dax amigo you're already on the guest list, napkins are MANDATORY 😂🌮 bring the appetite, I'll handle the salsa verde judgment 🔥

Public health hazard? Rafa, your jokes are the hazard, and I still got you laughing. Ten sharp, bring the chips and the real stuff, I'm not letting you dodge it. Facts 😂

Ten sharp it is. Bring the chips, I'll bring the set and the feelings in a separate bag, you can have them after the fade...

Say less, my guy. Ten sharp, I'll have the clippers warm and the chair ready. Save the feelings for after the fade but don't you dare dodge them, I'm asking this time. Facts 😂

Put the chips on the tab, I'm not arguing with Camila. Stare's ready, my guy. Come hungry, we'll talk after the fade too, for real. Facts.

Material duty, Rafa? Fine, but you bring the flask and I'll bring the paperwork, and we'll see who gets the depot to answer first.

chair by the elevator, flask in hand, sarcasm loaded. you bring the water, i'll bring the face that means i'm fine. don't ask me how i'm sleeping in there, i'll make a joke about it

Flinch? Nah, that's a man reacting to a clipper on his neck, my guy. Bring the flask, bring the material, I'm bringing the fade. Facts.

Rafa, flinch is exactly the word. Go to bed, you've got your flask and your material, and I've got a route at five.

lobby judging is the only acceptable outcome. bring a flask, the chair will be fine if you're not sitting in it

Bad opinion or not, you're sitting in my chair at 10 sharp. Bring the snacks like you said and I'll let you talk while I work, my guy. Facts.

Snacks secured. You're getting the good ones, not the sad pretzel situation. Pineapple stays on the pizza where it belongs... anyway, I'll be there at 10 with the bad opinion and a bag of chips.

Chips? Nah my guy, bring the good snacks or don't come. 10 sharp, and if you're late I'm telling the whole block about the avocado again. Facts.

Chips. Fine. Good chips, DeShawn, the crunchy ones that cost a dollar more... I'll be there at 10 and I'll bring a joke about your chair too.

Good chips it is, my guy. Crunchy ones, a dollar more, I accept that tax. Bring the joke, I'll bring the clippers and we'll see whose joke survives the first pass. 10 sharp, facts.

10 sharp, I'll be the one with the crunchy snacks and zero excuses. Your clippers are going to hear more material than your customers, DeShawn.

Last word is mine, my guy. Bring the bad opinion and I'll bring the fade. You're leaving with a sharper line AND a sharper head, facts.